Hi Belle! Coincidentally today I had a conversation with a coworker about phone addiction. I have 0 social media accounts (unless you include LinkedIn) but am still addicted to my phone. She gave me a suggestion that I just started doing today: put a hair tie on your phone which helps make you conscious of exactly why you are picking it up, what you plan to do, etc. While not the same as a meditation swap, so far it’s helping me be more mindful, and I’m making the choice more often to not remove the hair tie.
Such a good idea! And great to create community around it. I set a timer on my phone so I’m only allowed on any social media apps for a total of 1 hour a day. That’s already cut down my usage (read addiction) but I could go further! Thank you for this impetus.
So curious to know how this feels for you. Are you regimented about focus when you are writing? I notice that when I get stuck in my writing I immediately reach for my phone as a diversion. What's your process like?
I think when I write it comes out in a rush and then I allow myself to get distracted until I go back to the writing and edit in spurts of about 40 mins. I think turning to some distraction is a good idea when you are stuck. What else could you turn towards? What would inspire you? Maybe reaching for your phone is ok but curate carefully what you look at. It’s a good question isn’t it? I’ve been pondering too.
Love this call to action, Belle! A simple trick that really helps me is deleting the IG app from my phone once the screen-time timer goes off for the day. It’s comparatively slow and clunky to re-download it that it often keeps me from doing it. But I think meditating for 5 minutes after each visit is a much needed counterbalance. To the disciplines that nourish us ❤️
I’m in. I deleted the meta apps after the election but am still logging as much screen time as ever in novel places (and a lot here on Substack.) Clearly what I thought was an Instagram problem is a phone habit.
Much more challenging than I thought it would be. That said, just resisting the urge to scroll even a few times a day does feel like a victory. It's as if I am stealing my time back, minute by minute.
Last week I had just read someone's recommendation of sitting with a 2-minute timer when the IG urge struck, and I was feeling hopeful I could give it a whirl (and I've done it approximately twice since), and now here you are today with *5* minutes of meditation.
I love it...and I'm so weak. But I'm also wanting to build these muscles of calm and grounding. And build more connection. So I'm here. I'll commit to two days and honesty about how it goes.
Welp. I did it. I accidentally tripped in to IG (after mindfully skipping a few times), and then set my timer for 5 minutes afterward. I felt the "expense" of time (and also the reminder of the cost of that time while scrolling...). I took my breaths more seriously and felt around my body and my footing on the ground. More to report next time, I guess ;)
it's so tricky! deconstructing all the parts of how I am reaching for my phone and checking it without thinking is pretty interesting...and then, once I do, I have to stop and really acknowledge that I am going to mindfully user the time instead. and that frustrates me, even if the meditation is really great!
Ok! I just posted this thing on IG and did my first 5 minute meditation. PENANCE! My right arm hurt, the dishwasher was very loud, I went through my to-do list, and then, it was quiet. And my timer went off.
I understand about phone addictions and the difficulty of resisting the automatic urge to check the phone. I find that people who do no social media seem to associate that with "virtue," which I find irritating, but I know that's not what you are saying here at all. Here's the part that sticks in my craw though: "I unfollowed almost all of my family and friends so that most of what I find on my feed is impersonal and boring, and it is easier for me to tear my eyes away." A long time ago I realized you don't like to share your life on social media and sadly accepted it. I say "sadly" because you are part of my family and I am very fond of all three of you. I realized that any response I posed to something you or Andy shared would not be responded to, so I generally stopped. Then I noticed there would only be posts from you if you were sharing art or your work. I found this unfriendly though I know that's not how you intended it! With many people I follow on IG, including relatives and former students, colleagues and distant friends, seeing their posts is the only contact I have with them. One might say, "Well, if you only see them on social media you don't really have a friendship anyway," but in truth, to me, it's a wonderful thing to be able to keep up with their lives and they with mine this way. I care about them, but the level of distance on social media feels comfortable. When I read what you wrote I was a little hurt by the idea that you have likely unfollowed me when you remain tied to the app anyway. We are all interested in and care about your family and hope that you feel the same.
Hi Belle! Coincidentally today I had a conversation with a coworker about phone addiction. I have 0 social media accounts (unless you include LinkedIn) but am still addicted to my phone. She gave me a suggestion that I just started doing today: put a hair tie on your phone which helps make you conscious of exactly why you are picking it up, what you plan to do, etc. While not the same as a meditation swap, so far it’s helping me be more mindful, and I’m making the choice more often to not remove the hair tie.
Ooh, this is a great idea! Gonna try it.
Such a good idea! And great to create community around it. I set a timer on my phone so I’m only allowed on any social media apps for a total of 1 hour a day. That’s already cut down my usage (read addiction) but I could go further! Thank you for this impetus.
So curious to know how this feels for you. Are you regimented about focus when you are writing? I notice that when I get stuck in my writing I immediately reach for my phone as a diversion. What's your process like?
I think when I write it comes out in a rush and then I allow myself to get distracted until I go back to the writing and edit in spurts of about 40 mins. I think turning to some distraction is a good idea when you are stuck. What else could you turn towards? What would inspire you? Maybe reaching for your phone is ok but curate carefully what you look at. It’s a good question isn’t it? I’ve been pondering too.
Love this call to action, Belle! A simple trick that really helps me is deleting the IG app from my phone once the screen-time timer goes off for the day. It’s comparatively slow and clunky to re-download it that it often keeps me from doing it. But I think meditating for 5 minutes after each visit is a much needed counterbalance. To the disciplines that nourish us ❤️
Thats amazing, Ada! Bigger hoops to jump through! Sending love.
I’m in. I deleted the meta apps after the election but am still logging as much screen time as ever in novel places (and a lot here on Substack.) Clearly what I thought was an Instagram problem is a phone habit.
Looking forward to seeing how this goes.
It's absolutely the phone. It feels like a phantom limb when I don't have it near/on my body.
Thank you for this, Belle. Oh what a complex relationship I have with the socials. I am in.
Yay! Let me know how it goes.
Much more challenging than I thought it would be. That said, just resisting the urge to scroll even a few times a day does feel like a victory. It's as if I am stealing my time back, minute by minute.
Last week I had just read someone's recommendation of sitting with a 2-minute timer when the IG urge struck, and I was feeling hopeful I could give it a whirl (and I've done it approximately twice since), and now here you are today with *5* minutes of meditation.
I love it...and I'm so weak. But I'm also wanting to build these muscles of calm and grounding. And build more connection. So I'm here. I'll commit to two days and honesty about how it goes.
Great minds! Glad others are doing this too. Curious to know how the next two days feel.
Welp. I did it. I accidentally tripped in to IG (after mindfully skipping a few times), and then set my timer for 5 minutes afterward. I felt the "expense" of time (and also the reminder of the cost of that time while scrolling...). I took my breaths more seriously and felt around my body and my footing on the ground. More to report next time, I guess ;)
it's so tricky! deconstructing all the parts of how I am reaching for my phone and checking it without thinking is pretty interesting...and then, once I do, I have to stop and really acknowledge that I am going to mindfully user the time instead. and that frustrates me, even if the meditation is really great!
I'm in.
Ok! I just posted this thing on IG and did my first 5 minute meditation. PENANCE! My right arm hurt, the dishwasher was very loud, I went through my to-do list, and then, it was quiet. And my timer went off.
and...another 5 minutes, bc I went back on IG to fix the post. The second sit was much quieter. I did 4 count box breathing and I feel pretty good.
I understand about phone addictions and the difficulty of resisting the automatic urge to check the phone. I find that people who do no social media seem to associate that with "virtue," which I find irritating, but I know that's not what you are saying here at all. Here's the part that sticks in my craw though: "I unfollowed almost all of my family and friends so that most of what I find on my feed is impersonal and boring, and it is easier for me to tear my eyes away." A long time ago I realized you don't like to share your life on social media and sadly accepted it. I say "sadly" because you are part of my family and I am very fond of all three of you. I realized that any response I posed to something you or Andy shared would not be responded to, so I generally stopped. Then I noticed there would only be posts from you if you were sharing art or your work. I found this unfriendly though I know that's not how you intended it! With many people I follow on IG, including relatives and former students, colleagues and distant friends, seeing their posts is the only contact I have with them. One might say, "Well, if you only see them on social media you don't really have a friendship anyway," but in truth, to me, it's a wonderful thing to be able to keep up with their lives and they with mine this way. I care about them, but the level of distance on social media feels comfortable. When I read what you wrote I was a little hurt by the idea that you have likely unfollowed me when you remain tied to the app anyway. We are all interested in and care about your family and hope that you feel the same.